Corrction--

the song that I described in my last entry as "a bastardized version of 'Battle Hymn of the Republic'" is actually a real song entitled "Battle Cry of Freedom."

Wow. Titles aren't similar at all, and the melodies are half the same. Heh heh...

"The people are nice, and shit is FREE!"

Yesterday i decided i wanted to watch the Ken Burns's The Civil War and was griping all the way home about having to pay to rent 9 DVDs or buy the series, until I remembered that in the USA we have a institution known as the PUBLIC LIBRARY....it was, like, a revelation.

Despite the fact that they somehow managed to drop my account (which I only had had for about 6 months, if that) they were still nice.

I got through Vol. 1 and 3 as you can only check out three at a time and vol. 2 was broken (it was a VHS tape and despite my MacGyver skillz I was not able to coax the thing into winding properly, so I missed out on "Fredricksburg to Meridian"--but everyone knows the good stuff didn't start happening until 1862 anyway).

A few observations: maybe it's just because I'm a musician, but I found the b/g music distracting this time around. And it's basically the same three or four songs over and over--that Ashokan Farewell that everyone loves so much, that weird bastardization of "Battle Hymn of the Republic" played on the piano, and some form of "Dixie", fast or slow depending on the subject matter. And I can't help thinking it's really cliche to play those "traditional black chorus" spirituals every time they talk about slavery. Once in a while they throw in some song in a minor key if they are showing pictures of dead and wounded.

I also found myself talking to the screen, like the "black people at the movies" stereotype. That General McClellan, what a puissified idiot. If he had had more guts the war could have been over three years early.

I am looking forward to renting volumes 4-6 today, and engaging in more of these wholesome activities.

And somewhere in there managing to do more work on grad school apps and my personal statements.

P.S. Also started learning the tin whistle last night, the one Dad and Franz brought me back from Colonial Williamsburg. Pretty neat only really soft instrument, and it tired my hands and lips out after about 30 minutes. At the end of a 45-minute session I knew all the notes and could find them semi-fast, so I have been able to manage slow songs such as "Home Sweet Home", "I Dream of Jeannie," "Battle Hymn of the Republic" (well, I had been watching a movie about the Civial War, after all), and faster songs like "Dixie" and "Carlen Is Your Daughter Ready" ast a slow tempo. Good times.

this is not a negative post :-)

Things are bad but good always comes out of it....my grandma had a health scare on Saturday that brought her to the emergency room....but family has rallied, as they always do, and it seems for the time being that she is OK. This has also now forced her to get outside help for herself and Grandpa. She didn't want to before, and now she has no choice. So this is good.

ANYWAY....I was going to go on a rant about why things cost money, but what's the point of that?--Things cost money, that's life, I guess. Though I'll admit I'm trying to dodge getting a haircut, even though I need one.

I can't wait to go to Seattle this weekend; I love going to new places. I can't wait to see my friends next week, and a couple of weeks after that. And most of all...I can't wait to be HOME AGAIN. Be able to take the train and bus instead of car, so I can feel the icy wind rip my body to shreds (I'll be returning in February--brutal!), have coffee over Watertower Place, have an O'Malley's hot dog, see snow, see clouds, see sleet. And drive in it. See winter, spring, summer and fall. Hear those delightful accents. Get mine back (OK, maybe not so much).

I dunno. I was just thinking about that as I sit wondering why a certain person decided to kick me in the ankle this morning. God, if only I could sue.

Then I could get that haircut before this weekend, at the very least.

The irony is not lost on me...

My grandpa's cancer is back. I know that this should not be hitting me as hard as it apparently is; I mean he's 89 years old, he's been ill for quite some time, and, really we just know that his time for rest is drawing near.

Maybe that's not the part that bothers me. What bothers me is more of a selfish thing--that I have for months, maybe a year, been churning inside about returning to the Midwest, to be closer to my loved ones. Now I finally make the big decision to do it, and now it's a race against the clock. I don't have all the time I thought I did.

I'm here in LA and I feel powerless. I may not make it back in time.

I am homesick, yes, but I was willing to wait it out. After all, I have $800 worth of grad school applications to complete, and a lease until February. But now, with Grandpa's situation having changed so dramatically, seemingly overnight (they took his driving privileges away. When I saw him a month ago, he was driving wonderfully. He just bought a new Mercedes. This hurts)...well, now I don't feel so confident about waiting.

I feel like I've let everyone down.

Grad School Adventure Part II

	School
1	Northwestern University
2	Indiana University
3	Purdue University
4	University of Minnesota
5	University of Chicago
6	University of Illinois - Urbana
7	University of Wisconsin
8	University of Illinois - Chicago
9	Ball State University
10	University of North Dakota