journaling

I want to get back into journaling. I don't know if blogging can really be considered the same thing because there is something to having a book and pen in hand, and seeing the words in your own handwriting complete with scribbles etc. And you can do it anytime if you take your journal with you.

Blogging always seems more thought-out, since most blogs are put out for everyone to see and are somewhat controlled toward specific subject matter (to be fair, a lot aren't. I like those ones a lot). I like the stream-of-consciousness quality that comes with journaling, and the freedom that comes with the knowledge that nobody else is going to be reading this ever.

I saved all my old journals and diaries from when I was in 5th through 8th grade---at least I hope nobody threw them away back home. I haven't looked at all at them since those years. That's definitely something I need to do when I go to Chicago next. I would like to revisit what my thoughts and feelings were back then, what kind of person I was, etc. I remember writing page after page, even after "journal time" in the morning at school was done. I think I used to sit at my desk and journal when I was supposed to be paying attention in class. I don't remember anything of what I wrote, but I remember it being therapeutic in a tough time. Grade school years for me were hellish. I didn't have any friends at school; I was a nerd and everyone made fun of or just avoided me. So I remember feeling comforted by writing. I remember feeling like the diary was my friend when nobody else was, and someone I could confide in when nobody else would listen or understand.

I read a lot of online blogs/journals, the most recent being the one I posted the link to in my last entry. Apparently he still journals every day and thinks it's very important for people to do so. I guess I do too...everyone needs a release. And I agree that you don't have to be a pro or even a good writer to express yourself in written word. I mean...I'm here aren't I? Who even is reading this? I don't care either way. It's something to do, and something I can look back on and think about, years from now. Mateja at 24, what she was thinking and feeling, and so on.

Cheers!